You see, God allowed the unspoken unworthiness of others in my life to navigate me through the maturation process of defining and fortifying my inner enoughness in Him!  I truly believe we're harder on ourselves than God is! 

Shortly after gathering my sisters from outside to complete their chores prior to our Mother's arrival home, I remember the telephone ringing and sensing an unexplainable easiness from within.  The voice on the other end of the telephone was gripping as the pealing of their words became inaudible within my hearing.  "What?  Tanya is dead.  They found her dead in her home with a gunshot wound to the head!"  

One day while pondering a particular season, the LORD impart a life-changing truth through a series of thought-provoking questions.  He said "if everyone ascended to a public platform (local or global, whether television or radio) who would be left to influence?  How would I (Jesus Christ) be accessible to those who are unable to access the inaccessible?    At that moment, I realized we've all erred in believing the value of one's platform lies within the visual aesthetics of another's validation of its worth.  Absolutely not true! 

In essence, the antagonistic gnawing of our insecurities, low self-worth, ethnic inadequacies and yes, even marital and financial sparring within ourselves is best accomplished in unknown seasons of perfecting.  Because of Pastor Gray's willingness to allow God's timing to take precedence over an untimely unveiling, he and his wife Aventer in May 2018 will become the new Senior Pastors of Relentless Church in Greenville, SC.  A sprawling 20-acre multi-generational campus whose diversity spreads over a 6,000 member congregation. 

Much like Moses who didn't blow up and become the deliverer of his people until he endured his God-assigned unknown season.  Why?  Because improper access to the platform would've been detrimental not only to the Israelite’s but you and I too!  (Exodus 2-40 and Deuteronomy)

For many of us, the complexities of celebritism are equated with one's ability or inability to maintain a wealthy status, as opposed to the origin of their fruitfulness during an unknown season. 

Bountiful Blessings and HAPPY RESURRETION SUNDAY.....

Where has the time gone?  It seems like yesterday when I began writing from the portals of my heart to every one of you.  I hope you know how much I absolutely love empowering, strengthening and inspiring you through our "Weekly Reflections", "Morning Worship" and monthly "Strait Talk for Women" blogs!    

It's imperative we become like the Berean Jews who according to Acts 17:11 (NIV) "were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."  It was the eagerness of a young man in the foyer of a local restaurant which caused the unspoken instructions of God to collide with truth and illuminate within himself!

Perhaps we waiver in our obedience to God in execution of the unpopular because we do not see our disobedience as an act of rebellion, sinful, a form of idolatry, disrespectful to God’s Word.  If we were brutally honest with ourselves, our disobedience is predominantly predicated on our fear of man (wanting to look good to other people) rather than reverentially fearing God! 

Absolutely I had no understanding of God's plans for my life.  But I did know I'd heard his voice and understood his blessing came with instructions to which I would obey at any cost (1 Samuel 15:22).  And cost it did!   

With eyes wide open.  I'm in great anticipation of hearing how God's enlarged the place of his tent since we last spoke.  With elongated breaths, he says "I'm working with a clothier in Pentagon City.  I'm still worshipping at the same church. I know I'm in a season of transition. I've been there soo long.  I haven't done what I believe God's speaking because I don't want to leave without having a covering."  To which I asked, "Who can cover God?"  Silence!  Apparently, the thought-provoking question revoked the spirit of religiosity's access privileges.

We've all had seasons when we sometimes knowingly or unknowingly were passengers of the emotional rollercoaster.  Although grateful for the moral and spiritual support of our families, the greatest lesson comes from learning to weather the storm in the arms of Jesus! 

How often do you sit and daydream or visualize your hopes, dreams, and ambitions in life, only for them to become fleeting manifestations in your mind?  Perhaps it is because what you see are only glimpses and not constant consistent visuals of what can be. 

In the escaping of me, I've learned right priorities begin with and grow out of not ignoring the influences of God (Proverbs 3:5-6).   Too often we prioritize out of need and/or the desire of our hearts.  If we would turn to God first and run our thoughts by Him, he promises they shall be established according to (Proverbs 16:3). 

For many of us, the escaping of me might look like some faraway exotic place where cascades of water, reddish-orange sunrises, crystallized blue beaches or rainforests are the norm -- outside the normalcy of our everyday routines.  Whether it's the passionate hustle of successful entrepreneurship, the flyness of singlehood, the poised posture of a firmly fit wife, a loving disciplinarian to the children, an on or off-campus student, it can appear unreachable at times. 

As a young woman, rough around the edges and fluidly sharp-witted with my tongue, I remember how I loved seeing how my grandmother, the late Luevenia Bullock would handle herself in the company of people who saw her presence as inferior.  Inferior in her sixth-grade education, inferior in her socio-economic status, inferior in the delaying of her marital status in the birth of her children.  Yet, in the underlying brevity of the scoffers, I'd watch her meticulously navigate the portals of their superficiality with the poise,  confidence, and ease of one who knew with WHOM she was being handled.

As women, one of our greatest assets is the power of influence - the ability to strengthen, nurture and undergird the inner underdog in the fiercest of fights against one's self.

Recently I read one of the most flattering and insightful pieces about the life and filmography of Octavia Spencer, who won an Oscar in 2012 for the best-supporting actress.  The esteemed actress who played Minny Jackson, a strong-willed maid in the movie The Help and a NASA mathematician in last year's Hidden Figures she epitomized the uniquely unpolished role of a woman bonded to the indelible truth of esteeming others - even when nobody sees it but you! 

As millions of women all over the world watched the Golden Global Awards as Oprah Winfrey, one of the most celebrated women of our times became the first African American to receive the Cecil B. DeMille award for lifetime achievement, it became clear the common thread of our championship is not predicated merely on the color of our skin or the texture of our hair, but the ineffable backdrop in which we live and voice the distinctiveness of our truths out loud!

It's the New Year 2018 and for many of us, it's the year of new beginnings, grinds, and hustles, vision boards, modified spheres of influence and other like hopeful expectations of self and others!  Our social media outlets are streaming, trending and unveiling in epic proportion our conferences, summits, concerts, pop-up salons and stores with a fierceness and urgency in an attempt to capitalize upon showcasing the better of one's self!